Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The Day I Decided to Get a Personal Trainer

I know, I know.  This is ridiculous.  I have SERIOUS body image issues.  Like really bad.  It's horrible.  No matter how fit I am, how cleanly I eat, or how structured my day is, I always feel like I should be doing a little bit better.  Writing this makes me feel like a total idiot, by the way.  Hopefully it will be something I can look back on and will have learned a lesson, or taken strides to improve this flaw.

The last 6 years or so have been really great for me as far as fitness is concerned.  Right after Zoë was born, I joined a gym, went almost every day, and made some great progress.  After a while, I felt like I was just going every day and kind of at a stand-still.  Did I need to "lose weight"?  Absolutely not.  Did I feel the need to work harder and improve?  Most definitely!  Every.  Single.  Day.  this was one of the foremost thoughts in my head.

Fast forward 6 years, and here I am.  Pretty fit (in clothes), pretty good eating habits (during the week), and a ton of motivation to get better.  The thing that was lacking was the instructions to actually put these things together and see some results.  I spend way too much of my "free" time looking at lovely bodies of athletes, reading their blogs, planning to follow their meal plans (with Isagenix incorporated), and commit.  Until now, it's been a whole lot of pinning, reading, and wishing...not so much of the actual doing.  I was in the gym every day, but not the way I needed to be to get the results I was looking for.

After watching the progress of a friend of mine (a former cheerleader I coached, and distant cousin, strangely enough), I decided to get in contact with her and see what she thought about training me.  The thing that TOTALLY stinks about the whole situation is that she's employed by a gym, so I am paying big money, and she probably isn't getting nearly as much as she deserves.  I am sure it will all work out in the end, though.  So, on Monday, I went into the gym (not the one I prefer, but I'll get over it) and signed my life away, so to speak.  I had to text Kevin and apologize for dropping so much money on the whole deal, but it was what I really needed to do, and he doesn't care anyway.

When the papers were signed (like it's a big legal matter), she gave me a meal plan to follow and our workouts started today.  The food is the easy part.  I am the least foodie person alive.  I could eat chicken and green veggies for every meal without hesitation.  While I am still incorporating my shakes, I have been following the meal plan perfectly.  This is where I start to feel really dumb because I totally know all of this stuff, I just can't seem to wrap my brain around it until it's written out for me and I have someone outside of my personal life to keep me grounded.

With every easy part, there is a hard part, I assume.  That was where I stood (or wobbled, rather) this afternoon.  Like I said before, I consider myself to be pretty coordinated, flexible, able to follow directions, and all around capable of doing pretty much ay physical activity, to a certain extent.  Today was the exception.  I felt like an IDIOT!  The actual exercises were nothing new to me; completely doable and really not that much different from what I'm used to.  Then something happened.  About 7 minutes in, I started to feel shaky, my legs were really tight, and I knew it was going to be something different than I have ever experienced before.

Did I do it?  Of course.  I pushed through, gritted my teeth, and envisioned my ultimate goals, as I was feeling like I could not kick my legs up even one last time.  I am trying to think of a good reason for this post.  It's really just a big sneeze of all of my thoughts and feelings from the day.  What I learned:  it doesn't matter how fit you are, you can always do more.  Sometimes you need someone to push you to your limits.  It's okay to struggle and not be the best at what you're doing (still working on this one).  Lastly, I am going to be sore tomorrow.

Hopefully this will be a great investment in myself, enabling me to be a better person.  I need to stop being so critical of myself.  Currently, and through my entire life thus far, it has been a tragic flaw.  Let's hope I can change it a bit so it doesn't lead to my demise.  That wouldn't be good at all.  It's 8:20 and I can hardly keep my eyes open.  If I can figure out how to post "before" pictures without my face, and without the possibility that a student my stumble upon my blog at some point, I might consider doing it.  Probably not.  But maybe.  My sweet Tempur-Pedic is calling my name.  These girls need to go to sleep.  This is the lamest post of all time, but I might like it in a year or ten.  Ahhh, sleep!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

The Best of 2012

Here are some of the best products I purchased in 2012!

Clinique Chubby Stick
These little babies are the best!  I have a few of them and I am sure my collection will be ever-growing. The only downside is having to drive to the mall to grab one because they're only sold at Clinique counters (unless you order online, of course).  The shades are to die for and the morning application lasts until lunch without having to touch up at all! 

Rayban Wayfarer
The most versatile, classic, and petite shades I've ever owned!  I have super sensitive eyes, so I have to have sunglasses on any time I am outside.  Wait, this section might be a lie, because now that I'm writing it, I think I may have actually purchased these before 2012.  Oh well!  These are a dream and come in so many colors now.  Mine are just plain black, and I am actually very shocked that I don't own least the tortoise :)  We'll see what 2013 brings!

Sentsy's Pixie Scentsy Bar
By far, my all-time favorite scent from Scentsy.  I actually picked this one up by accident.  All of my orders are typically placed through my friend, Kathi, but I happened to be at my sister's friend's house and she had some extras so I bought this one from her.  So lovely!  It smells just like the color of the package...if you can imagine that...I really don't know how else to describe it!  Sweet, but spicy and subtle and clean all at the same time  Throw it into your next order.  You won't be disappointed.  

The Reva Flat by Tory Burch
My FAVORITE shoes ever!  My friends make fun of me all the time because when I find something I really like, I tend to become a little bit obsessed.  For example, I adore these flats, so it is a biiiiiiiiig joke that I won't buy anything that's not TB.  Not true.  I wish it was.  Anyway, when I first got these, I was a little bit disappointed because they killed my feet.  I had huge dents in the backs of my ankles from the scrunchy, gathered backs.  The leather is really soft though, so I knew they'd stretch out.  Plus, I had big plans for these sweet little girls.  They had to become more comfortable.  I stuck it out, and after about  6 or 7 wears, they were dreamy.  I won't lie, these have a pretty price tag, but they are so perfect, it's worth it.  I wore them all late summer and fall and they look brand new.  There's no doubt they'll last a very long time.  Another item I will absolutely purchase in more colors.  I have my eye on the nude and red ones, as we speak.  

Lululemon's Wunder Under Crop

Since the first time I put these little miracles on, I have never worn another pair of leggings to the gym or Crossfit.  The ugly truth is that I often wear them just as pants.  Not to work.  Well, that's a lie.  I've been known to wear them with a tunic and boots (they're much longer on my legs).  I totally splurged on the first pair I bought.  Kevin and I were in Boise shopping for the girls' school clothes, and the price tag totally made me cringe, but girl in Lululemon totally talked me into them.  Plus, it was almost my birthday!  Kevin bought them for me, and I was SO excited to wear them.  A few months later, I posted something like "how many times do I have to wear the same workout pants before it's okay to buy a second pair?" on Facebook.  I was convinced it was the right thing to do.  You would think mine were becoming tatty after having to be washed almost every day, but I swear I can't tell them apart from my new ones!  Both of the WUs I have are solid black, but they do come in a variety of other colors and waist band designs.  Unfortunately, the other colors are not often available in my size for some reason.  I'll be patient because the red Wunder Unders are to die for!

There you have it!  My obsessions for 2012!  I think it's safe to say I'll have the same obsessions this year.  Hopefully I can step out of my comfort zone a bit and try new things.  I am completely aware that most of my favorites are pricy.  However, I am totally of the mind that "you get what you pay for", and I don't splurge very often.  Really, I don't even shop very often.  Not nearly as much as I'd like to, anyway!  Here's to bargains, saving for great items, and finding fantastic products in 2013!


Wednesday, January 2, 2013


I've read so many blogs about people's "word of the year" lately. With 100% certainty, I can say that my word needs to be RELAX.  If I don't, I am sure I'll end up with wrinkles, grey hair, and bags under my eyes well before those things are attractive on me...hopefully never.  Anyway, I suck at relaxing.  Yep, I said it.  I am one of those freak people who cannot sit still to save her life.  I clean and organize and think and plan and teach and learn and move CONSTANTLY.  All the time.  From the time I wake up in the morning, I don't sit down until it's time for bed.

Every once in a while, I will have a lazy Saturday or Sunday morning, but by the time Kevin is up running around, I feel super worthless and lazy for not doing anything.  It is absolutely impossible for me to sit on the couch and watch Kevin clean up the kitchen or bathe the girls or whatever without getting up to help.  This is probably a sickness that will be discovered later in my life.  For now, I need to learn to cope.

Over Christmas break I have made a few changes.  I am trying my best to calm myself down and not freak out about little messes and other minor things going on around my house.  We've watched more TV than ever these last two weeks.  My house is messier than ever, even though I still clean it up every night before we go to bed.  I've been trying to just let the girls play and make messes without bugging them to always clean up.  This is HARD!  I need to find a middle ground.

What usually happens is I let things "slide" for a while, then I have a major freakout!  I'll step on crumbs, find sticky places on the counter, bitch about laundry or whatever and totally stress myself out. The worst is when Kevin tells me to calm down because I am stressing him or the girls out.  Then I feel guilty.  Ugh.  I am working on it.  I need to enjoy life more.  I need to live in the now.  This has never, ever been my strong suit.  It probably explains why I was married at 19 and had two children at 21!  If I find something I want, I want it NOW!!!  If I have a goal, I'll work until it's accomplished.  I suppose this is probably a positive quality to have; it makes me driven and goal oriented.  On the other hand, it forces me to overlook/ignore some of the most precious moments in life that I'll never get to have again.  Sad.

In my effort to relax and calm down about Kevin, the girls, work, the house, friends, family, dates, nutrition, working out, etc., I have found a few little things that make me feel a lot better.

The first thing, which is probably the best is choosing one of the girls to spend a few minutes with.  Usually I'll read a book to Charly, then let her read her own version, paint Reese's nails, or look on Pinterest for a new recipe with Zoë.  It's just a few minutes, but those are minutes I will never get back and it is so much more important to spend my minutes like that, than stressing about the sticky travertine.  At this point, it's still a problem because I take the "time out" and relax a bit, but still stress about the small's just been put off for a few minutes.

The second thing that has helped me so much is taking detox baths.  I know, it's weird.  Usually my baths are interrupted by the girls wanting to soak their feet or someone needing the channel changed.  Yep, I sure do park my kids in front of the TV so I can have some time to myself.  Judge away.  What can I say?  They learn valuable life lessons from Honey Boo Boo.

Back to the bath.  I was searching on Pinterest one night...I think from my phone as the girls were bathing, actually...anyway, I came across this fabulous site.  On her blog, Vanessa writes about the most interesting things.  The article I first read was called "Healing Waters".
Healthy Living How To
The next day, I went out and bought a big bag of lavender Epsom salts, pulled out my essential oils, and locked the door.  I got in the bath and soaked.  That happened to be a day I was cleansing anyway, so I had already been releasing all kinds of junk that day.  As I was soaking, I could literally feel toxins being pulled out of my body.  The stress from the day was leaving my body and mind.  You can laugh at me, everyone else does (and I totally laugh at myself most of the time).  This was totally for real, though.  A little later, I got into bed and went to sleep without reading, Facebook, TV, or anything else.  Just drifted off to sleep and woke up totally rejuvenated.

This little issue of mine is not always funny.  Sometimes I can laugh it off, but other times I get really offended when people ask me why I can't just sit down or why I have to stress about the smallest things.  Obviously I don't have an answer.  The only thing I know is that I like things to be perfect, planned, and in my control.  The thing that totally annoys me is when I do get offended by someone's opinion, then I realize they are TOTALLY right!  I do need to calm my ass down sometimes and just enjoy my family and friends.  There are so many people who would be infintely grateful for this change.

Relaxing is not easy for me.  I'm working on it.  Here's to a more calm 2013.  What are some of your favorite ways to relieve stress and relax?

"You're Doing Just Fine"

For the first time in two weeks, the girls and I went out to do a little bit of shopping.  Earlier this week I read this post from one of my favorite blogs.  In the post, the writer talks about her struggles in taking 4 children out to lunch.  This was totally me today!  The good thing is, I had a much better experience.  One of the serious problems I have in my life if getting on kicks.  I get this from my mom.  Hers are usually with food (mint Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches before bed EVERY night, things like that), and mine are usually with products.  Lately, lipstick and vitamins.  Today I was on the hunt for vitamins.  We went to Target to get Kevin some soap and luckily I found one of the vitamins I was after.  The girls were okay because I bribed them with Starbucks (chocolate milk, not coffee).  After Target we went to Cone's Health Food and Vitamins.  They didn't have what I needed.  By this time, Charly had to go potty.  We sped over to Lassen's and I found what I was looking for AND a potty for Cha.

Before we went into Lassen's, I was unloading the girls from the car.  They typically like the do everything by themselves.  EVERYTHING.  Well, I guess I shouldn't say that.  Zoë is super lazy and always wants me to do things for her.  Anyway, after I parked, I opened the back door to get Charly out.  For whatever reason, they all HAD to get out of that door, Charly wouldn't let me unbuckle her carseat, and there was a car waiting to get into the spot next to me.  I started panicking.  I thought to myself, "This lady definitely thinks I am crazy for this".  Much to my surprise, she rolled down her window, I apologized for taking 14 minutes to unload the car, and she smiled and said, "You're doing just fine.  Happy New Year, honey".  Ahhhhhh!  It was so nice to hear!  Perhaps that is what happens when you shop at a health foods store!

I felt compelled to share this story.  As most of you have probably experienced, people are rude!  Especially people who do not understand your struggles, etc.  I can't even count the number of times I was out shopping or running errands with Reese and Zoë while pregnant with Charly, and people would say things like, "You're pregnant AGAIN?"  Yep, totally pregnant again.  Get over it.  (not currently pregnant, FYI)

We are usually a pretty put-together bunch.  Today was different.  We were all frazzled and hungry, but  the sweet lady in the blue car totally made my day.  As Emily instructs in her post, be nice to people.  If you see a mom struggling with her kids, HELP her!!  Or at least smile at her :)

The Great Hair Dilemma of 2013...2012, 2011, and 2010

In 2013, I am growing my hair out.  Obviously, I don't know how successful this will be because I have said this a million times, but I think I'll really do it this time!  About 2 1/2 years ago, I went from my super boring bob to a longer pixie cut.  Once upon a time, back in Kindergarten, I had really long hair...
This is so funny!  I still think I look like that, even though I know I don't.  My oldest daughter Reese, however, does look just like this, but with lighter, curlier hair.  Not too long after this was taken, my sister got her hair cut really short.  She was in high school and totally capable of styling her hair and, for that time, it was actually really cute.  Obviously, I wanted to do the same thing, so I begged and pleaded until my step-dad took me to the mall (MasterCuts I think it was) and had a woman named Monica chop off all my hair.  It was horrible, though I thought I was incredibly cute, and I couldn't wait to go to school and show my friends my new hair!  Don't remember their reactions.  They probably lied to be polite.  All I have to say is that if someone ever took one of my kids to the mall for a haircut by a random person and had their long hair cut above their ears, I would be mighty upset!  Don't get any ideas!!!  

All through high school, I had shoulder-ish length hair.  One time I had it cut into a really short bob...the day of a dance...let's not go any further.  I'll just say, the fact that my date was 18 inches taller than I was and had to sit down for our picture wasn't the most embarrassing event of the night.  Sad.  

So I let it grow!  Then I got layers and did the all flipped out thing for a while.  I remember one of my teachers, and now colleague, Mrs. P., thought it was super cute and I was grateful for her compliment.  She probably thinks I am a total nerd for remembering.  But hey, I am a total nerd...obviously...I'm sitting here blogging about my hair timeline.  Ha!  Here's the flippy thing I was talking about.  A very scary picture.

Okay, okay, moving on!  In college, I still had the long bob 'do.  I loved it and my hair was so black and shiny and lovely...
 (This was the first time I had dinner at Kevin's parents' house!  Not sure why I chose to wear glasses...and not sure what was with Kevin's vampire attire)

Seeeeee that shiny loveliness?!  Ahhhh, I could just die!!!

On we go.  I kept this long-ish bob for about 3 years.  After Zoë was born, I grew it out pretty long.  This is my FAVORITE of the non-pixie styles I have ever had.  Though, I think I hated it at the time.  
Isn't it pretty?  Yes, I am totally gawking over myself.  Get over it.  I had really great hair!  Or maybe it's because I was 6 years younger in this picture!  Either way...

I cut it a little shorter here...
But again, same concept.  The I finally got bored with it.  I needed something new!  Right before I chopped my hair for the first time, I had just started my career, Charly was a newborn, and I needed a change.  So I did it!  

This was the day I cut it!  Still pretty long in the front.  From this point on, I pretty much just cut it shorter and shorter every time I went in.  

I loved it like this!  Still voluminous in the back, springy, choppy, lovely.  This picture makes it look lighter, but it was still really dark. 

Then I took the plunge!

This is my favorite way to wear my hair super short.  Totally fresh, clean, out of my face.  I am totally talking myself out of growing it out now... NO!  It's happening.  I can always cut it short again.  

Last spring I decided to grow it out.  It lasted a few months...
I got the front and my bangs to grow pretty long.  Things were moving quickly, and I got to see Garth Brooks in Vegas!  Wait, that is not on topic.  He was life-changing, though.  If you can't tell, I have super thick hair.  It's not nearly as wavy as it was before I had kids, and actually more coarse than it was before, too.  Also, apparently I was totally working the back that week.  I don't know... 

This is the last time I got a trim.  It's been about 6 weeks so it's grown out a bit but I have a long way to go!!!

Deep breath...Lately, I have been reading up on how to make your hair grow healthier and faster.  I bought a few supplements at the health food store today (biotin and BioSil).  I'll try them and see what works best.  I am actually pretty excited to see the different stages my hair will go through during the grow out!  Now that I've blogged about it, it has to happen, right?  

Many of the blogs I've read regarding growing out a pixie 'do talk about the dreaded "Bieber phase".  I love JB as much as the next preteen girl so I am sure I'll survive!  Tomorrow is the day I go in and tell my hair stylist my plan.  I am 100% sure she will laugh at me because I've done this so many times.  Never the less, here's to having longer hair in 2013!!!  Cheers for change!!!