Every once in a while, I will have a lazy Saturday or Sunday morning, but by the time Kevin is up running around, I feel super worthless and lazy for not doing anything. It is absolutely impossible for me to sit on the couch and watch Kevin clean up the kitchen or bathe the girls or whatever without getting up to help. This is probably a sickness that will be discovered later in my life. For now, I need to learn to cope.
Over Christmas break I have made a few changes. I am trying my best to calm myself down and not freak out about little messes and other minor things going on around my house. We've watched more TV than ever these last two weeks. My house is messier than ever, even though I still clean it up every night before we go to bed. I've been trying to just let the girls play and make messes without bugging them to always clean up. This is HARD! I need to find a middle ground.
What usually happens is I let things "slide" for a while, then I have a major freakout! I'll step on crumbs, find sticky places on the counter, bitch about laundry or whatever and totally stress myself out. The worst is when Kevin tells me to calm down because I am stressing him or the girls out. Then I feel guilty. Ugh. I am working on it. I need to enjoy life more. I need to live in the now. This has never, ever been my strong suit. It probably explains why I was married at 19 and had two children at 21! If I find something I want, I want it NOW!!! If I have a goal, I'll work until it's accomplished. I suppose this is probably a positive quality to have; it makes me driven and goal oriented. On the other hand, it forces me to overlook/ignore some of the most precious moments in life that I'll never get to have again. Sad.
In my effort to relax and calm down about Kevin, the girls, work, the house, friends, family, dates, nutrition, working out, etc., I have found a few little things that make me feel a lot better.
The first thing, which is probably the best is choosing one of the girls to spend a few minutes with. Usually I'll read a book to Charly, then let her read her own version, paint Reese's nails, or look on Pinterest for a new recipe with Zoë. It's just a few minutes, but those are minutes I will never get back and it is so much more important to spend my minutes like that, than stressing about the sticky travertine. At this point, it's still a problem because I take the "time out" and relax a bit, but still stress about the small stuff...it's just been put off for a few minutes.
The second thing that has helped me so much is taking detox baths. I know, it's weird. Usually my baths are interrupted by the girls wanting to soak their feet or someone needing the channel changed. Yep, I sure do park my kids in front of the TV so I can have some time to myself. Judge away. What can I say? They learn valuable life lessons from Honey Boo Boo.
Back to the bath. I was searching on Pinterest one night...I think from my phone as the girls were bathing, actually...anyway, I came across this fabulous site. On her blog, Vanessa writes about the most interesting things. The article I first read was called "Healing Waters".
|Healthy Living How To|
This little issue of mine is not always funny. Sometimes I can laugh it off, but other times I get really offended when people ask me why I can't just sit down or why I have to stress about the smallest things. Obviously I don't have an answer. The only thing I know is that I like things to be perfect, planned, and in my control. The thing that totally annoys me is when I do get offended by someone's opinion, then I realize they are TOTALLY right! I do need to calm my ass down sometimes and just enjoy my family and friends. There are so many people who would be infintely grateful for this change.
Relaxing is not easy for me. I'm working on it. Here's to a more calm 2013. What are some of your favorite ways to relieve stress and relax?